How To Have A Man Commit To You Without Ultimatums And Pressure


If you’re like how I used to be, or similar to 100s of my clients, you KNOW once you ask those dreaded questions: So what are we? Where is this relationship going? I need to know what are we doing here? The man either tunes out, gets defensive, and tries to get out of that conversation as QUICKLY as possible.

I’m Shahrzad Shukra, and I am a certified love and relationship coach, helping women globally to attract their soulmates and have the commitment that they’ve always dreamed of.

In order for a man to feel motivated and INSPIRED to commit to you, here are my 3 tips for you:

  •  Be the best and the most authentic version of yourself. This means, to physically and emotionally show up on your dates feeling beautiful and confident. I’m not saying that you have to show up wearing lots of make up and wearing super sexy clothes all the time. But DO wear what makes you feel beautiful, what makes you not feel self-conscious thinking is this outfit making me look fat? When you’re up in your head judging yourself and worrying about what he thinks of you, you disconnect from your natural feminine magnetism, and it’ll be difficult for him to be able to feel drawn to you. And to be authentic means, don’t wear what you think HE would like you to wear. So for example, if red lipstick is not your thing, but you’ve heard the color of red makes a man feel attracted, DON’T do that. A man’s level of attraction to you is in direct proportion of how you feel about YOURSELF. If you wear things, do things, and say things that are not in alignment with you, but you’re doing them in hopes that he would pick you, he won’t! He can feel that you’re auditioning and trying to win him over, and he’ll feel turned off by that.

  • Number 2: Appreciate him. Men need to hear the words thank you, just as much as you need to hear the words I love you in order to be happy. High quality men are deisgned to make their women happy, and they feel the best about themselves when they can do that. But in order for them to feel that way, they need to be TOLD that they are making you happy and that they are adding more joy and happiness into your life. So appreciate him. Tell him thank you for opening the door, thank you for bringing you coffee, thank you for calling when he said he would. It’s important for a man to feel recognized and appreciated for his effort and he will pick a life partner that consistently allows him to make her happy and most importantly appreciates him for it. When you show appreciation, he won’t want to leave your side because most men experience women who treat him as if he’s obligated to do the things that he does, and not appreciate him.

  • Number 3: Respect him. There’s not a single high quality man out there that doesn’t look for this quality in a woman when he’s choosing to be with her for the rest of his life. What does respect look like? Telling him how you value his thoughts and perspective. Telling him how much you value that he is ambitious, that he works hard, the way he speaks to his mother. And of course this needs to be authentic and true, and if he’s not demonstrating behavior that deserves respect, don’t ever tell him what’s not true, and of course I hope you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with a man who you don’t respect. And it’s important to know when a man feels disrespected. It’s when you put him down in front of other people, when you correct him like a little child, and when you belittle what he values. That will be a huge turn off for him and he will NOT want to commit to a woman who makes him feel that way.


So there you have it, if you want to motivate and inspire a man to WANT to commit to you, follow my 3 tips of being the best version of yourself, appreciate him, respect him, and he would want to be around you all the time.

Shahrzad Shukra