Betrayed – Or Always on the Lookout of Being Betrayed?

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What feels worse to you?

Being actually betrayed by a partner?  Or feeling terrified by the possibility of being betrayed and getting hurt?

To me, the latter feels worse…

Not because I want to diminish the pain of experiencing betrayal – it’s so hurtful and there is no denying that. But when it actually happens, after a period of grief, the pain subsides and it’s over … well it’s over if you want it to be.

But then if you’re day and night feeling scared that at any minute it could happen to you – then it’s an ongoing pain.

Fear steals away your peace!

Do any of these resonate with you?

… Your heart beats faster when he spends too much time on his phone.

… You have to constantly play detective on every woman he follows on Instagram.

… When he’s out with his friends, your evil mind keeps presenting you with images of him flirting with the gorgeous bartender.

… When you’re away (or if he’s away) you pretty much feel uneasy the entire time and feel nauseous when he doesn’t pick up his phone at 10:00pm.

It feels like you’re suffocating, doesn’t it? I get that – I’ve been there.

And you don’t have to feel this way anymore.

Whether this pain has come from your past experience of infidelity,  and you don’t want to go through it all over again, or if you’ve been taught that all men cheat, and they can’t resist temptation of a young sexy woman – I want to free you from the haunting fear.

First of all, I want you to make friends with your fear.

Why? Because your fear loves you! 

It only wants to keep you safe!

Really, all our fears want to help us not experience pain, but unfortunately as well intended as they are, they are doing exactly the opposite.

Fears keep us in constant pain.

So first, let’s acknowledge that the intention IS to love us. And so here’s what you do:

First notice when the fear comes up and let your fear speak to you! What is it saying?

Use your smartphone if you don’t have a pen and paper available, and write down exactly what it’s telling you.

Next notice what is your fear urging you to do? Does it want you to keep calling him until he picks up? Check his phone when he’s taking a shower? Log into his email?… Notice it, and don’t give in to the urge!

Feel the fear in your body.

Where is it? Is it in your stomach making you feel sick? Is it in your shoulders? In your fists? Find it, and breathe into it. Stay there for as long as it takes for it to loosen and melt down.

And lastly, acknowledge and thank your fear for being there and wanting to protect you and tell her: “I know you love me and want to keep me safe, but I’m in charge here and I want to make my decisions from a place of love. I am loved. I am safe. I’ve got this.”

Once the fear starts to feel easier in your body, notice what do you feel like doing? Do you still have a strong urge to take an action or there is a knowing inside of you? The knowing could be very well telling you that something is off, but NOW the difference is that it doesn’t feel like it’s strangling you.

There’s ease and space around it.

And from there – from a place of love and intuition – you can make the right decision for you.

Whether it’s having the realization that all is well, OR if you want to talk to him about how you feel, the energy is no longer intense.

Don’t let your fear run you. The more you act from a place of fear, the Law of Attraction, will give you incidents to feel fearful about.

So recognize when it comes up, and learn how to dance with it, but don’t give your power to it.

Living a life of fear and expecting to be a victim of betrayal is an awful way of living. And you have ALL the power in the world to change it every single time it comes up!

Make your decisions from a place of love and surrender. 

Your feminine intuition is ALWAYS guiding you once you learn to quiet down the loud noises that your fears are making!

Love,

Shahrzad

Shahrzad Shukra